1. Kim's pregnancy wardrobe
Now who am I trying to kid, I love the Kardashians. But Kim, oh god Kim, your pregnancy wardrobe has to be one of the most gas things about 2013 so far. The comparisons are endless - a whale, a couch, need I say more?
Here is a handy lollage (see what I did there? If you didn't, it's a pun on collage). Whatever about the actual clothes, she must be absolutely SWEATIN'. I think she had bump denial for a while with the amount of leather she was still attempting to squeeze into.
And this week's offering? Trying to emulate the heroine of one of the best films ever and making a dress out of curtains was not a glam call. Plus she mustn't have been able to eat her dinner stuck in that glove, clearly impractical.
Less Spanx is also key. You're pregnant, you're supposed to get fat. Chill out Kimmy, PLEASE, for all our sakes.
2. BEYONCÉ SQUEE!
On Saturday I will be seeing my queen Beyoncé for the third time and I am a little bit excited. Also apprehensive as I am risking going to the concert with my younger sister, who, the last time we went to see Beyoncé, FAINTED. I would excuse it if it was actually due to Bey's sheer whopperness but NO, it was mainly down to the fact that all she had eaten all day was a piece of French toast.
Cue a trip to the first aid room in the O2, my uncle coming in to take her out and a punch being thrown at me by not a very nice lady. WAH. Hopefully this time will be better. #prayforclaire
EDIT: This glam picture of bey has just made my day. You're welcome. And there's some of my excited about cereal selfies, I might be a tiny bit more excited on Saturday. Although Wheatabix are hard to beat, it has to be said. (LOLZ I can't believe these photos are on the internet, enjoy.)
3. Nick and Jess
GOD I just can't cope with Nick and Jess in New Girl, it's all becoming too much for me. They're kissing, they're not, they're at his dad's funeral doing the supportive friends thing, they're going to go on a date, then they have sex AND THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS. I don't even know what I want to happen next but it's just too too much.
That kiss though. I am not ashamed to admit that I have watched that episode again and again and I'm still weak. Nick Miller is the man.
Watching New Girl is no longer a LOL but intense emotional upheaval every week which is why they need to sort their shit out, okay.
Here it is in all its glory. Watch it, then watch it again 12 more times.
4. Bye bye Fergie
I am already tired of the Alex Ferguson saga, yes I understand that it's the end of an era, he achieved great things as manager blah blah blah but please stop with all the puns, the Black Eyed Peas jokes and all of the Facebook statuses. SNORE.
Okay Claire out. PS: Flux is online, and I would love if y'all would have a little look, okaythanksbye. PPS: Top woe of the week: The search for a Coke bottle with the name Claire on it is still proving fruitless, and I don't even like Coke.
