Diary of a VERY big sister

I love all of my siblings but I am OBSESSED with my baby brother and sister. Obsessed.

Becoming a big sister at 22 is a bit manic. Billy and Grace brought our sibling tally to five this January, a week after my birthday.

The closeness of our birthdays (birthDAYs not years,drain) has led to what people probably find funniest about the entire thing - that I’ll turn 40 a week before they’re even 18.

You’re all gas, thanks.

I’ve wanted to write about being a really big sister for ages and ages but when you actually stop and think about how mind-boggling the whole thing is, it takes a while to get your thoughts in order. I mean, it's not that mind-boggling, I just got two little tots who I just want to be around the whole time but I guess what I mean is that it doesn't exactly happen to everyone.

I suppose the main thing is everyone has moved down two slots in my list of favourite people and it’d take a lot to claw your way back up to this pair’s ranking.

Obviously I love babies but having two in your own house is next level deadly.

Don’t get me wrong - their bodily functions can get grim - but if anything it’s only increased my capacity for forgiveness.

Seriously, you wouldn’t believe the amount of baby vom that’s landed on my bare feet these past few months, nothing could phase you.

On the upside, it’s two totally innocent little souls us original three can plague with our obsessions. It's open season.

Hence why their poor mother arrives back downstairs to find us three absolutely belting Sound of Music classics at the pair of them - I’ve almost got that family choir I’ve always wanted. Eibhin and Daire were never quite willing enough to participate in my “shows” when we were kids.

You’d be half convinced your friends are only sticking around so they can keep getting Snapchats of them. That said, their selfie game is coming along well.

At the same time, it was always going to be a bit emotional. I couldn’t wait for them to arrive, number one - purely for them to arrive and number two - to actually process it all.

And it’s such a happy situation - such a lovely, lovely feeling to be their big sister - but I knew, like anything big that has happened in the last few years, I will inevitably have one massive cry, just because.

Exposed to that particularly attractive moment was our brilliant stepmum, a week after giving birth, with one baby at home and up and down everyday to one still in neonatal.

When the time came to head back to Dublin after meeting baby Grace, so did the tears. And they didn’t stop for a while - you know me.

I’ll remind her of that at their 18th birthday - when I’m 40 you’ll recall. I’ve forgotten half the things I wanted to say, but if I don’t press Publish now, I never will.

Although if Dad’s latest text is anything to go by, there should be plenty of episodes during the unfolding saga of the crawling twins to share.The end of the world is nigh, he reckons.

On a side note, trying to resurrect this blog has not been easy.

Back in college it was a way to get a feeling of achievement that you’d “done” something and a good way to write down all of the bizarre and mainly silly thoughts I had on the world, but publishing your thoughts - no matter how many or how few people are going to read them - is always scary.

It would be easier not to, easier not to be honest, easier to be mortified of yourself, but in truth I always liked it and just needed a bit of a push get it going for the umpteenth time.

So let’s try this again!

observations of the week #4

Long time no blog. I FELL OFF THE WAGON. Mainly because I couldn't get over how unfunny I was but nonetheless I am back and ready to whinge again. I apologise in advance.

1. Kim's pregnancy wardrobe
Now who am I trying to kid, I love the Kardashians. But Kim, oh god Kim, your pregnancy wardrobe has to be one of the most gas things about 2013 so far. The comparisons are endless - a whale, a couch, need I say more?

Here is a handy lollage (see what I did there? If you didn't, it's a pun on collage). Whatever about the actual clothes, she must be absolutely SWEATIN'. I think she had bump denial for a while with the amount of leather she was still attempting to squeeze into.

And this week's offering? Trying to emulate the heroine of one of the best films ever and making a dress out of curtains was not a glam call. Plus she mustn't have been able to eat her dinner stuck in that glove, clearly impractical.

Less Spanx is also key. You're pregnant, you're supposed to get fat. Chill out Kimmy, PLEASE, for all our sakes.

2. BEYONCÉ SQUEE!
On Saturday I will be seeing my queen Beyoncé for the third time and I am a little bit excited. Also apprehensive as I am risking going to the concert with my younger sister, who, the last time we went to see Beyoncé, FAINTED. I would excuse it if it was actually due to Bey's sheer whopperness but NO, it was mainly down to the fact that all she had eaten all day was a piece of French toast.

Cue a trip to the first aid room in the O2, my uncle coming in to take her out and a punch being thrown at me by not a very nice lady. WAH. Hopefully this time will be better. #prayforclaire

EDIT: This glam picture of bey has just made my day. You're welcome. And there's some of my excited about cereal selfies, I might be a tiny bit more excited on Saturday. Although Wheatabix are hard to beat, it has to be said. (LOLZ I can't believe these photos are on the internet, enjoy.)

3. Nick and Jess
GOD I just can't cope with Nick and Jess in New Girl, it's all becoming too much for me. They're kissing, they're not, they're at his dad's funeral doing the supportive friends thing, they're going to go on a date, then they have sex AND THEY'RE BEST FRIENDS. I don't even know what I want to happen next but it's just too too much.

That kiss though. I am not ashamed to admit that I have watched that episode again and again and I'm still weak. Nick Miller is the man.

Watching New Girl is no longer a LOL but intense emotional upheaval every week which is why they need to sort their shit out, okay.

Here it is in all its glory. Watch it, then watch it again 12 more times.







4. Bye bye Fergie
I am already tired of the Alex Ferguson saga, yes I understand that it's the end of an era, he achieved great things as manager blah blah blah but please stop with all the puns, the Black Eyed Peas jokes and all of the Facebook statuses. SNORE.

Okay Claire out. PS: Flux is online, and I would love if y'all would have a little look, okaythanksbye. PPS: Top woe of the week: The search for a Coke bottle with the name Claire on it is still proving fruitless, and I don't even like Coke.

A comeback I can get on board with...

JT is back. I'm almighty glad for many reasons.

1. He is now married to Jessica Biel, and therefore part of one of the super gas power couples that I only wish I was half of. Here they are having a gas time with my all time favourites, Bey and Jay. Look at that monochrome glamness, living the dream.

2. That Grammys performance was the ultimate. To quote Ricci from Geordie Shore (lolz) he's "got the looks, got the charm, it just works"... as well as the voice, the moves and the super mates to feature on his comeback single; I'm looking at you Jay Z.


Also how perfect is "Pusher Lover Girl", the second song he sang during his set? Dreamboat.

3. MIRRORS
Deserves some capitals. Much as I love "Suit and Tie" and it was such a departure for him, "Mirrors" is typical, slick JT, but more mature, more refined and just delish, really. Also those lyrics, mmm hmm.



Welcome back to music JT, good to have you back.

In other news, I am obsessed with fashion bloggers. What's new? Read all about it here.

Let's be Frank: Confessions of a Frank Ocean Fangirl

Frank Ocean is a gamechanger and I am a fangirl. There, I’ve said it. He’s written for Beyoncé, he’s collaborated with Jay-Z and Kanye West. A member of Los Angeles hip-hop collective Odd Future, he’s one of the elite but in the most humble of ways. Just before his debut album, Channel Orange, was released last summer, he posted the record’s credits note on his Tumblr, revealing to the world that his first love was a man. A bold move, but a brave one, and brace yourself for a big statement here, it was the most moving piece of writing the world had read in a long time. (I think.)

Ocean is a storyteller, and by the power of words he showed the world how to truly make a statement. Last week Channel Orange won Best Urban Contemporary Album at the Grammys and has seen an 140% rise in sales since the nod. And rightly so. This is only the beginning of what will propel Ocean into the big time. He’s not just that boy with the nice words about his first love – he now has two Grammys under his belt (the second being for “No Church In The Wild”, his collaboration with Jay-Z and Kanye West) and is a serious force to be reckoned with.

But that’s not what he wants. His name does not appear on the cover of Channel Orange and his dog Everest is credited as the album’s producer. A beautifully honest first album, rife with the sting of unrequited love, Channel Orange is sheer perfection and everything he does from now on will be measured against it. Let’s hope the tricky sophomore album doesn’t prove a failure like so many other artists; somehow, I don’t think it will.

In the world of hip-hop, a place where homosexuality and bisexuality are not openly discussed, his revelations were revolutionary. “Forrest Gump”, which he performed at the Grammys award ceremony, contains the lyric: “You run my mind, boy”, a fairly big deal as we hardly ever hear overtly same-sex song lyrics. It’s refreshing and it’s real.

So far, so good. He hasn’t done anything to annoy us, hasn’t beat up a partner (Chris Brown, I’m looking at you), just released some gorgeously cloudy and emotive music. Oh, and changed his name to Frank Ocean because it would look better on magazine covers. How perfectly gas. Christopher Breaux doesn’t quite have the same ring.

Have I fangirled for long enough yet? I just don’t think it’s possible to find anyone who quite simply just exudes so much “cool”. His voice is the first one we hear on the entire Watch The Throne album so if that’s not a vote of confidence from two of the industry’s most respected, I don’t know what is. Remembering he’s only five years older than me, it’s easy to feel pretty underwhelmed about your own achievements, but I think I’ll get over it – so long as he keeps doing what he’s doing.

Image via here, and Flux piece here. Also wrote a Tegan and Sara album review which you can read here. I promise to be back with some original blog content soon!

observations of the week #3

LES MIS.

Physically, emotionally and mentally drained, Les Mis this week won a Claire award for the first film I ever cried at. Kudos. Didn't expect to like Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway or Amanda Seyfried but they all surprised me and I JUST LOVED IT OKAY. I remember the intense panic I felt when there was a possibility Taylor Swift had been cast as Eponine but luckily this was a reality we didn't have to endure. THANK GOD. THANK GOD.

Silly magic shows.

I was watching some old Sabrina (how good was that show, seriously?) last week and it got me thinking. It really annoys me in magic related shows how they never use magic. Sabrina, only when NEEDED, Harry Potter, only when NECESSARY, UGH like if that was me I'd be buzzing around having a gas time.

Boiling eggs is hard.

Shamefully I had to Google how to boil an egg. It's not that I've never boiled an egg before but they just never turn out right. Do you put them in hot water, do you put them in cold water, how long for? They're just so tricky. I will never again laugh at someone who says they cannot boil an egg.

The day Taylor Swift actually looked hot. RAGE.

It was inevitable. I should have seen it coming. Some day, she had to do something good. Here's Taylor looking (and I struggle to type this) glam. As Niamho said, there should be a ban on her looking nice.










Sometimes I can be kind of serious, sometimes.

Finally something that really bugged me this week was the news of the old couple who died in their flat on the North Circular Road. IT'S JUST SO SAD, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT. I think old people are gas, when I went to see my grandad this week... even though I spent half the day trying to explain to him what a blog is and I'm fairly sure when he was reading The College View he didn't understand Flux at all... I just had the loveliest time. Some of them are annoying but also cute and are normally very good at listening to you shite on about yourself for hours, so let's not forget about the oldies.

In other news Beyoncé is looking GORGE on the cover of GQ, the men's section of River Island is my new favourite place (and as I said on Twitter, boys genuinely have no excuse not to be stylish while it is in existence. Simple.) and Kim and Kate are to spawn in the same month (July) and therefore could give birth on the same day. I will have a coronary if that happens.

This really isn't reading very well. To be fair, we must remember that this is coming from the girl who spent the day watching the two Bridget Jones films (what is my life?) so I may delete. As usual sorry for all the Taylor dislike and have a happy weekend!

observations of the week #2

Dungarees are back.

Penneys/Primark/Hell (sometimes) are bringing back the humble dungaree. Now I will show you a picture of me rocking the denim wonders way back when:

DOUBLE DENIM EVEN, (can you deal?) and now we will figure out how I can make them work in 2013. Okay no, there is no way they will ever work because I don't look like this girl over here. I may be crying now but I'll get over it. Also Penneys have just restocked their summer swimwear range. Just as we're all trying to get rid of our twelve chins and belly rolls of Christmas, thanks. Also every single item of clothing they currently stock is waterfall/dipped hem/whateveryouwanttocallit-short at the front and long at the back. Please, leave it in 2012.

Sales are terrible.

Shopping woes are neverending. First slow walkers and now we have to endure weeks of messy floors, five year old rotten stock being dragged back out, clogged rails. It is just too much clutter for my little mind to bear. I like to go into Topshop and actually enjoy my shopping experience rather than be bombarded with tat they weren't able to sell when it first came out. Then if randomly, and I rarely do take the time to peruse the sales racks and, actually find something with potential, only to find that it's a full price item, hastily stuffed onto that messy rail, my disappointment knows no bounds.

PS: the slow walkers are getting worse too. Walking out of the Disney Shop (don't ask) the other day and a woman with a buggy the size of a people carrier refused to let anyone pass until her bold child would get into it. "You're holding everyone up Melody" (okay I made up that name but it was such a brat it probably deserved it) just pick the child up and get out of the way. Rage.

Kim and Kanye are preggo.

The news also means that Kanye will finally get to feature in the Kardashian Kristmas Card (click the link, seriously, you won't regret it.). How perfect is it that his name begins with a K too, some people have all the luck. Both he and the Kimye spawn will take the place of Kim's kitten Mercy, who sadly passed away, a little white ball of fluff who was much too tiny to die. I've just about got over it and I don't even like cats. The nine month saga is going to be a lesson in oversharing, contrary to K-Middy who will reveal very little, I'm sure it won't be long before Kanye and his baby mama are gracing our screens with all of their pregnancy banter. Most of all we all know I just can't wait to see what maternity wear Kanye puts her in.

Birthdays around Christmas are also terrible.

If ever I happen to acquaint someone who works in the birth cert office, I'll make sure to doctor that shit and move it to June so there's at least something to look forward to for the rest of the year. Having the nerve to be born on New Year's Eve also means no chance of a night off work, oh well.

I think that's all my whinging for the week. Sorry as usual for being the biggest silly in town. Happy Janbluary!

observations of the week #1

This. 

New year. Fresh start. Different perspective. This is a very lovely video that you should all watch. We like to whinge but would we be any different if we left this place?

Driving Home for Christmas is the worst.

I got the bus home to Cork on Christmas Eve and the bus driver thought it'd be gas to play it. No. Then in the car home with my dad it came on again and his reaction was so perfect I just had to write it down. "I hate Driving Home for Christmas with a passion Claire. The only thing that could possibly make it worse would be if James Blunt recorded it. James bloody Blunt." I can't help but ultimately agree and thank whomever responsible for James Blunt bowing out of the music industry that we will never be subjected to such melodramatic hardship.

Some people should never wear leather leggings.

Okay, so I work in a club where the dress code isn't crazy girlo but we still see a lot of thighs wedged into very very tight pants. Now I'm all for a good pair of leather leggings but some of these girls take the biscuit...and have obviously eaten quite a few too. (Sorry, not sorry.) Anyway, please think twice, for all of our sakes.

Grafton Street needs a fast lane.

For people who value their sanity, MOVE. One more Sunday stroller and I swear! It's the day before Christmas Eve, I have no presents, get out of my way.

Blue Ivy was my fave celeb baby of the year.

How could she not be? Despite the fact that Bey and Jay's offspring is almost one, and we haven't heard much of her since those cries on Jay's track Glory, (can you say one hit wonder?) JOKING, SHE'S ONLY A TINY BABY and has already had more success than most of us, becoming the youngest person ever to feature in a Billboard Chart, AND at less then a week old - let's all give up now. Even her feet are cute, and I don't particularly like feet. Baby Adele might have made the cut if she wasn't so damn private, oh well.

Hope y'all had lovely festive times and ate, drank lots of these ...
and were merry with all of your favourite people.